Before I had my son, I thought I had a pretty good grasp on what motherhood would be like. I read the books, followed the accounts, and listened to the advice, but nothing prepared me for what it’s actually like to live in the trenches of new motherhood. There are so many little things that no one talks about. I wish someone had sat me down and given me the real, raw truth. Consider this your official heads-up.
1. Your Arms Will Feel Like They’re Gonna Fall Off
Newborns want to be held all the time. No matter how many wraps, swings, or bouncers you have, there will be days when the only place your baby wants to be is in your arms. No one warned me that I’d be lifting weights 12 hours a day. Invest in a baby carrier before your arms start screaming in protest. Your back will thank you.
2. Breastfeeding Isn’t Just About Milk Supply
People make it sound like the hardest part of breastfeeding is whether or not you make enough milk. Nope. No one told me my baby would refuse my boob as if it had personally offended him. No one mentioned that my nipples might feel like they’d been dragged across gravel. I didn’t know that no matter how many lactation appointments I went to, my baby would continue to struggle to suck strong enough to be nourished.
If you’re breastfeeding, get yourself silver nipple cups, a giant water bottle, and the phone number of a lactation consultant who actually helps (not just tells you to “try different positions”).
3. Newborn Sleep Isn’t Just About Wake Windows
Everyone talks about “wake windows” like they’re the holy grail of baby sleep. What they don’t tell you is that some babies will not follow them, no matter how many sleep courses you buy. Some babies sleep in 20-minute increments for weeks. Some scream like you’re abandoning them the second you try to set them down. It’s not you, it’s them.
The best thing you can do is accept the chaos, lower your expectations, and find what works for your baby, even if that means breaking all the “rules.”
4. You’ll Learn to Eat One-Handed Real Fast
At some point, you will become a master of eating with one hand while bouncing a fussy baby with the other. You’ll learn how to drink coffee at lukewarm temperatures and appreciate meals that can be eaten with a fork in three bites or less.
Pro tip: Stock up on high-protein snacks that don’t require utensils, suh as protein bars, nuts, and string cheese.
5. Amazon Will Become Your Best Friend and Your Worst Enemy
Before having a baby, I used to browse online leisurely. Now, I impulse-order things at 3 a.m. with one eye open, hoping that this will be the magic item that makes my baby sleep longer. Some of them work — a portable sound machine is worth its weight in gold. Some are laughably useless — looking at you, baby shoes for a 2-week-old.
Just accept that you’ll waste some money. It’s part of the initiation process.
6. Mom Rage Is a Thing, and It’s Not Talked About Enough
I always pictured myself as a patient, gentle mom. Then sleep deprivation, overstimulation, and a baby who screamed for hours straight introduced me to something no one warned me about: mom rage. It’s not about being mad at your baby. It’s an overwhelming, boiling frustration that sneaks up on you when you’re stretched too thin.
If you feel it creeping in, step away for a minute. Put the baby down in a safe spot, take deep breaths, splash cold water on your face. Talk about it. You’re not a bad mom for feeling it.
7. Your Relationship Will Be Tested in Ways You Can’t Imagine
Even the strongest relationships will feel the strain of new parenthood. There’s nothing quite like arguing over who’s more exhausted at 2 a.m. while a baby screams between you.
Communicate before you hit your breaking point. Even if it’s just saying, “I need five minutes to myself.”
If resentment starts creeping in, tackle it early; it doesn’t magically go away.
8. You’ll Feel Touched Out, Even When You Love Your Baby
I was not prepared for how much I’d crave just one moment of not being touched. When you’re holding, feeding, rocking, and soothing a baby all day, even the lightest touch from your partner can feel like too much. This is normal. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby or your spouse. It just means your body is constantly on demand, and sometimes, you need space to feel like you again.
9. You’re Gonna Google Some Weird Stuff
From “why does my baby grunt in their sleep?” to “is it normal for my baby’s poop to look like mustard?” your search history is about to get wild. Just know that 90% of the time, the answer is: “Yes, it’s normal.”
If you’re really worried, call your pediatrician before falling into a doom-scroll spiral.
10. You’ll Love Your Baby More Than Anything — But You Might Not Feel That Right Away
This one is important. Not every mom feels that instant, overwhelming bond the second their baby is born. Some do, and that’s beautiful. If you don’t? That’s normal too. Love grows in the messy, sleep-deprived, in-between moments.
Give yourself grace. You’re doing better than you think.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood is raw, messy, and harder than I ever imagined. However, it’s also filled with moments that take your breath away — the sleepy snuggles, the first smiles, the tiny fingers wrapped around yours. It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out. None of us do.
If no one has told you yet: You’re doing an amazing job! Even when it doesn’t feel like it. Even when you’re exhausted and crying into your cold coffee. Your baby thinks you’re perfect… and that’s enough.
